My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Enjoy the penises