i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.