Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.