When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket