is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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