So many bounce houses so little time
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
