All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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