she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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