Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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