Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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