Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
