ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
