Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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