she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
