kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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