last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Do vagina's smell?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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