he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
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whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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