what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
