is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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