..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
