apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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