I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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