your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
