last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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