All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
