the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
