"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
