I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
