I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
