The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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