Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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