that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize