ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
