We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
