Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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