"it" just moved
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize