sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
