I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
are you so shy because you have an std?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
