Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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