So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
