I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
