I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
