'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
