if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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