Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
