let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
