i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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