I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
