hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's never too late to be topless.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
