If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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