you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
