is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
