i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
