Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
