Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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