Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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