East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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