Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
