I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize