My room smells like vodka and shame
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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