just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
how drunk are you?
Several
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
