it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize