Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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