I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize