M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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